This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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