Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
