Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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