I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
