I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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