that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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