THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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