Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
