Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
