I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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