sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
