I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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