I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
