she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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