I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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