You smell like stripper and shame
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
