they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My bed smells like the plague
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
