you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
