Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
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i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
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Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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