Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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