You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
