Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Your penis caused this!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
