Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
