I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
