I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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