Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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