using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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