This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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