Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
