the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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