I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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