we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
