if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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