Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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