I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize