there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
