I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
