Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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