Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
