I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
