that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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