Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
