I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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