Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Randomize
