Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
