So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
that may or may not have been my penis.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
