I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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