I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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