Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
