Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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