my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
