cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize