I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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