i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
