Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
