This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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