the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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