I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
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New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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