Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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