I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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