Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
