Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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