i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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